Today, as we sit down at our table to celebrate that wonderful, American holiday of Thanksgiving, we will all join hands and give thanks for all that has been given to us. Family, friends, enough to eat and drink, being together on this special day; we will and should say ‘Thank you!” for all that has been given to us. However, I would like to concentrate on the second part of that word, “giving.” All too often, this word is overlooked in our rush to give thanks. I believe it would be a terrible mistake to forget that giving is every bit as important, maybe even more important, to focus on giving and how to become better at it, especially during this very special time of the year.
In my book, I referenced a very wise and gifted parish priest, who, known for the high quality of his homilies, gave life lessons to all of us fortunate enough to have been present during his masses. One particularly valuable piece of advice, given during Lent, but applicable all year long, was to do good deeds for someone, without them discovering it was you who performed those hidden tasks. For the past few years, since I first heard that homily, I have attempted to follow his example. It is not easy, you will be discovered, but as that wise priest informed us, you simply have to do another good deed, and be even more careful the next time. It truly works, and there is a hidden benefit to those deeds that he did not tell us about. I suspect he knew we would discover it and I will let you in on that secret in just a bit. Please stick with me for just a while….I promise you, it will be worth the wait.
What I did at first was to start with the little things…putting money in the offering, as cash, expecting no tax deduction later on, when I used the envelopes. I moved on to placing a few more coins and dollars in the bucket of the Santa with the ringing bell and even giving more money to those ubiquiteous folks who populate the parking lots and malls fighting cancer or raising funds for the local volunteer fire department. I quickly discovered that this was way too easy, I was already anonymous and there was little or no effort expended by me. I did feel good, and I will not stop doing this, but I had this anoying feeling that I was missing the real point of what that priest was challenging me to do. I had to do more.
I moved on to doing good deeds for my family. Extra treats in the lunch bucket, buying special and favorite lunches or dinners, completing chores for them that I knew they hated to do…all these worked, except they were almost always discovered. I felt good, they felt good, I received thanks and praise and I went on my way…for a while. I had to try harder. And it got even more difficult as I attempted to discover how to do good deeds, make them matter, and still remain totally undetected. I was beginning to feel empathy for the “Lone Ranger.”
Of course, I cannot reveal what I did or what I soon discovered…that would defeat my purpose. I can say that the more elaborate the deed, the longer it takes to unwind, the better your chances of remaining undiscovered. Also, the very, very simple acts of kindness, if done quickly and frequently, will also, usually, remain just your secret. And now, as I promised earlier, I will let you in on what that parish priest did not tell us that day. If you are successful at keeping your good deeds hidden, you will one day discover someone else has been doing the very same thing for you. I do not know how this works, but it does. Once you begin your mission of giving to others, with no expectation of receiving anything back in return, good will surely come back to you. Call it the boomerang effect.
It returns to you in ways you would never expect. People who you need to meet will call or visit you. Things or tools you need to complete your job will suddenly be available to you. When you need comfort, someone will be there for you. It seems to be an unwritten law of nature that if you do good things for people, give without any expectation or reward of a return, you will, indeed, receive more in return than you ever thought possible. Giving seems to breed giving.
Give it a try. Start small, but keep on going. You will be discovered somewhere along the line, but do not give up. You will get better at it and soon, you will go months and months with the knowledge that you are doing good, every day, in secret. Then, you will be surprised. You will need something and it will be there. You will wish that someone will call and help…and they will. Of course, this does not happen all the time, I am sure it is not meant to. However, as you go about your secret mission, you will always discover that good feeling that comes from the knowledge that someone, somewhere is feeling better because of something you gave or did for them.
Start now, do not waste another minute of time and then, next Thanksgiving day, as you sit down at the table, concentrate on the “giving” in the word “Thanksgiving.” Think back on all that you have given, quietly, secretly, without any expectation of return and then, look in the faces of the people around that table with you. That will be your reward.