This past week I was listening to the late great George Carlin and his classic routine comparing baseball and football. I think it is one of the most outstanding comedic observations of all time, rivaling even the oft-quoted ‘Who’s on First?” Abbot and Costello piece on baseball nicknames. Carlin’s masterful observations got me thinking about the differences between cats and dogs. So, with a humble nod to Carlin, I would like to offer my observations on how dogs and cats look at life through completely different eyes.
As a person who has lived with both dogs and cats, (note, I did not say “own” since I have found it impossible to believe that I have ever really owned any of my furry companions.) I can attest to the fact that a cat and a dog will react to the same situation in very dissimilar ways. Take “fetching” a ball as an example.
When I throw a ball for my dog to chase, he will jump, pant, droll and roll with excitement. He will bound after that treasured orb, jumping, leaping and barking all the way. He will grab that ball directly in his mouth, chew on it a bit, possible lick it once or twice and then bound rapidly back to me so I can throw it to him once again. I will always take the now wet, slimy and dripping toy from him and throw it once again, watching with great interest as my dog races to retrieve it, return it to me as quickly as possible, so I can once again throw the treasured prize. All of the dogs I have ever tossed a ball to will continue the process until they lie panting and exhausted at my feet. Cats, well, not so much.
Currently, I live with three cats. One of them, a muscular, orange and white tabby, who I rescued while living in south Texas, loves to play a game I have aptly named, “Fetch when I feel like it.” His favorite ball of choice is a small, rubber-like, soccer-type ball that he can grab in his mouth, bat repeatedly about the house and usually lose in short order underneath a couch, chair, closet or wherever those balls seem to go to die. Kato, his name, chosen for the character in the Pink Panther movies, who liked to hide from Inspector Clouseau, only to attack him when he least expected it, will grab this treasured ball and place it at my feet. I will grab the ball, throw it in the air so he can try to catch it and then watch him as he bats it furiously around the room for about 15 seconds. Following this joyful chase, Kato will grab the ball in his mouth, bring it back to me, place it at my feet and look up at me throw it again. Since I apparently am a very slow learner, I will take the ball from the ground, throw it again for Kato to fetch and watch as he lazily follows its bouncing route across the room. Kato will not move, he will not fetch the ball and will show complete and total disdain at my repeated requests for him to “fetch” the ball. Kato simply does not feel like fetching the ball anymore. He has chosen to rest for a bit. This silly fetching game of mine has come to an end. “I will fetch it when I feel like it and right now, I do not feel like it.” Kato has spoken. His decision is final.
A dog will always tell you when he wants to go outside to “do his business.” He will run to the door, bark, whine, leap and generally make his wants known in every way possible. Once that door is opened, he will leap outside, sniff a bit, run from place to place to discover the perfect place to relieve himself, settle down and deposit the remains of his dinner. Once that is finished, he will kick some grass on it, run to you to continue whatever it is you want him to do and then quickly join in whatever activity you have chosen for him to do. Well,that is not exactly how cats approach this most basic need of all of our furry friends.
Cats will silently retire to their litter tray, slinking silently though the house. They will do their business, cover it up carefully, take a quick last look and then retire to their favorite chair, bed, blanket or other warm sleeping place. The only evidence of their “work” will be a lingering and slightly noxious odor that will most certainly wind its way from that hidden and private place of poop to your nose. Cats do not advertise their bodily function intentions. We are left to discover them at a later date.
Dogs will shower you with attention and let you know they love you, all that you do for them, all that you can feed them and generally treat you like you are truly something special. They will lick your hand, your face, your shoes, your neighbors’ hands, feet, legs, shoes and everything else that you come in contact with. They will bark at your arrival, whine at your departure and try to get to wherever you are going slightly ahead of you, so they can be there to be petted and display their very wet and moist forms of affection whenever you are around. Cats chose to take a slightly different approach.
Cats love to sleep, in fact, I believe they sleep about 90 percent of their lives. If you just happen to be resting or sleeping during these times, (and it is hard not to, since they are almost always curled up and catching a few “winks.”) you will be able to share their chosen place of rest with them, as they curl up in your lap or happily share your bed, couch or chair. Of course, this is not really “your” chair, you merely share it with your cat. This sleeping place, however, will be soon reclaimed by your feline if he really wants it. Affection toward you will be shown by an occasional rubbing or purring activity that lets you think they are showing their love overtly. In reality, they are really saying “Thank you and will you please move out-of-the-way so I can continue my nap?” Cats can be really tricky about these public displays of affection. They will show they love you in the privacy of their homes, but you will never, ever catch a feline jumping up and down upon your return home or when guests arrive. If you see this behavior being displayed by your cat, rest assured that their food dish is empty.
People who have not lived with a cat frequently remark that they find cats to be just a bit aloof. I do not believe this is completly true. Cats are not aloof, they are simply above it all. They have observed the antics of their canine friends and deemed them to be foolish, wasting of energy and just generally not worthy of their time or effort. If they love you, you will know it, at the appropriate time and with the appropriate amount of affection. And your cat will choose both the time and the place to let you know how they really feel.
Dogs and cats are a wonderful addition to any home. All you have to understand is that they are there for you, when you need them the most and will always give you unconditional love. And, should they ever misbehave, remember the infamous reply that Inspector Clouseau gave to the woman who was just bitten by the tiny dog after she asked the inspector, “Does your dog bite?” Clouseau responded, “No he does not.” Of course, the dog immediately bit the inquisitive woman. Clouseau turned his gaze to the shocked woman and replied, “That is not my dog.” My animals do not bite or really misbehave, they simply choose to share their home with me and all those silly little rules I keep trying to enforce……. I would not have it any other way.