A few weeks ago I attended a volunteer luncheon at an assisted living facility where I take communion to the residents on a monthly basis. It was a pleasant and friendly time where most of the volunteers being honored that day were actually residents of the facility. I was surprised how many of these people, with disabilities and health issues of their own, somehow found the time and energy to serve their fellow residents. A few of these remarkable individuals even volunteered for multiple assignments. Their courage and selfless attitudes are remarkable to behold.
I was seated at a table with three other volunteers, a woman I knew from my monthly visits and one of the three other “outside” volunteers who accepted the invitation for lunch. My remaining seatmate was a rather unique gentlemen, new to the facility and recently arrived from Belmont, New York; where he was a salesman for most of his life. He was outgoing and gregarious and even performed several “magic” tricks at our table that amused all of us, including the magician himself.
Listening to his stories of his life on Long Island brought back memories of my own experiences there during my employment with 7-Eleven. I frequently traveled to Long Island on business and his exploits seemed to fit in well with the people I encountered during my visits. Near the end of the luncheon, his face grew stiff and his eyes moist, as he recalled his last days living there, up to and including, the passing of his wife of 60 years. He had arrived at this facility as a direct result of the efforts of his son, who lives in our area. This facility is truly remarkable and I often hear it praised by the residents as one that treats them extremely well and offers the care so many of them constantly need. He leaned over to me and stated that while this is a wonderful place to live, the thing they cannot solve are loneliness and boredom. I asked how this was possible, since I counted over 70 activities that were scheduled for the coming week alone. His answer is one I will never forget.
This unique gentleman told me that his wife had been dead for over two years now and he “missed her deeply.” He recalled the special years and events that they shared during their marriage and informed me that no matter how many events the facility offered, he still went back to his room at night, alone, and with everything still going on around him; bored. He told me that even though this was the finest facility his son could find, nothing would ever fill the void of his missing spouse. Loneliness and boredom were now his daily companions.
There was nothing I, or the other folks at the table could do to convince him otherwise and I sensed a deep feeling of loss and remorse in him. He tried to lighten things up with his magic tricks and quick wit, but when the conversation paused, I could see the sadness begin filling his spirit. He had truly lost a part of himself when his wife passed on. While he was physically with us that afternoon, his heart remained with his wife and the memories they both shared.
That afternoon with those special people caused me to re-evaluate what is really important in my own life. So often we rush about in pursuit of our jobs and dreams and neglect those who mean the most to us. One day they are here and the next they are gone. I will not squander one more moment of time with my loved ones for the excuse that I will have time to spend on them when my work in done. The truth of the matter is that there will not be time; there is never enough time with those that you love. I now intend to spend my remaining days filled to the brim with activities that involve those folks, never squandering any of the few precious moments that remain. For now, loneliness and boredom can wait, I choose to show those around me how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I will pass this way but once and I fully intend to share the trip and enjoy the rest of the ride. As the Beatles sang, “It is a long and winding road.” The best way to enjoy it is to bring along a passenger.