How often do we create prison walls of our own design? I pondered this question frequently this past week while traveling by plane, shuttle, car, foot and numerous other forms of transportation. It was a busy week and one that made me slowly lose faith with the traveling public. Rudeness and a seeming total disregard for the concerns of others, have greatly increased since my last trip just three short months ago. Lines were cut, gestures exchanged, common courtesy was mostly absent and a general feeling of thinly disguised contempt was on display everywhere.
While waiting to board my rental car shuttle bus to the “car corral” as my fellow travelers called it, a businessman asked me why I was waiting for a family of five, with three small children in tow, to exit the bus. “Courtesy.” I replied as he literally shoved the smallest child out-of-the-way to jump on the bus and grab his seat. It should also be noted that the driver of the bus was outside of the bus,assisting this family to disembark and a grand total of two other folks seated on the bus. Unfortunately, this behavior was prevalent during my trip and I was left to ponder why so many people were so rude. While I can offer many possibilities, I am certain of only one thing. Travel is no longer fun.
I also realized that many of my concerns and problems were those of my own making. I have slowly constructed walls of expectations that are proving to be totally unrealistic. Brick by brick I built those prison walls, slowly hemming myself into a tight and impenetrable fortress that cannot be breached….. And I built it all by myself.
Where I hoped that travel would be fun, or at least not painful, it has, in fact, been a chore for several decades. Gone forever are the days when you could run through airports with your family, kiss them goodbye at the gate and board a plane that was usually half full at best. Now, you endure humiliating airport searches, long lines and hostile crowds to board an aircraft with no empty seats, jammed into a space too small for any normal-sized human being, seated next to a person who has obviously never known the pleasures of bathing or even basic human hygiene.
Yet, I built this prison myself over the years, brick by brick as I longed for the “good old days” of travel when people laughed, smoked and even managed to stretch out in their seats. The bricks of this prison were carefully crafted by me and I now resided in that prison for my entire trip. Tearing this prison apart takes a lot of work, because I have constructed it with the most solid bricks known to mankind…the bricks of absolute certainty. Those are mighty strong bricks.
I realized that I have also crafted other strong prisons of my own making. I have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight, all the time residing in the prison where I can blame my weight on family genetics, impossible schedules and deadlines and just poor eating habits. Things will never change. I will always weigh this much. The prison gets stronger every day.
My “bum” knee will never improve, no matter what I do. Exercise, medications, surgeries, none of those will work. I will always have this problem. I add bricks to my prison every day and they become stronger with every passing day. And the knee continues to hurt.
Yet, we can, and should, knock destroy those prisons. After all, we built them didn’t we? We should be able to destroy those prison walls of our own creation, shouldn’t we? The answer, of course, is “Yes.” The real question is “How?”
I think it starts by deciding, really deciding, that those prison walls must go. Commit to destroying them, brick by ugly brick and then get started tearing them down. Do not allow assumptions, expectations, excuses or the expectations of others to get in the way. Simply to commit to start.
Next, work on taking down those walls every day. As President Reagan famously shouted to ,Gorbachev in 1987, “Tear down this wall!” He, of course, meant the Berlin wall, but it can also refer to our very own prison walls. Well, the Berlin wall is gone has Reagan had demanded and ours should suffer the same fate.
Simply recognize that the walls are strong and they will not always fall on our first attempt at destruction. Keep knocking and punishing those walls and soon cracks will appear. The next day, a larger crack and then, at last, a hole. One fine day, an entire wall will fall and soon your prison confinement will be over forever. All it takes is a will to change and that prison of your own making is doomed. It cannot last. It cannot and should not stand.
Rude, ignorant and inconsiderate people will always inhabit the earth. I cannot change that. What I can change is my reaction to them. Where, in the past, I was angered and frustrated by these traveling bozos, I now choose to ignore their behavior, continue with my own trip and keep my eyes firmly focused on my destination. I can be friendly, optimistic and pleasant, ignoring my many traveling companions, who seem to live by an entirely different code of conduct. Maybe some fine day they will change, but for now, I vow that I will be the one doing the changing.
Yes, we build prison walls of our own design every day of our lives, that seems to be human nature. We can, however, tear down those bricks and build new houses without any bars, if only we try…and try we must. Live is way too short to be spent in a prison of any kind and a prison of our own making should never be a place where we chose to reside. Tear down that wall! It is completely within your power and those walls will fall. All we have to do is to strike the first blow. A President spoke and a wall came down. We, too, can take down our own prison walls…..one brick at a time.