Most people, when asked what the opposite emotion of love is, would quickly answer, “hate.” While that is a good answer and one I have given myself on many occasions, I have discovered, over the years, that a more accurate answer would be “indifference.”
Anyone who has suffered through a break-up, divorce, separation or other traumatic life event certainly understands how “hate” can be an acceptable answer. You want that person to “pay” for what they have done to you, to suffer just as much as you have and to understand the harm that has been inflicted upon you. There needs to be some form of retribution and the word “hate” most likely has been, or will be, spoken often when referring to that past love.
Since it is almost impossible to go through life without ever being wronged by another human being, we all will discover that love-hate relationship at some point in our lives. It can happen early, with a first love, or happen later in life when we believe that we should “know better.” Whenever or wherever this event occurs, it leaves us wanting bad things to happen to our former lover, partner, husband, wife or significant other. But is that emotion really hate, is it really the opposite of the love we once felt so deeply for that person?
Initially, immediately following the end of the relationship, we suffer through emotions we would really rather not experience at all. Tears are shed, vows are uttered, sometimes emails or letters are written and we “trash” that former partner to everyone we know, by any means at our disposal. “Hate” certainly seems an accurate and apt description of how we feel at the time. It may even be accurate.
Gradually, however, we must move on and our life slowly begins to evolve without that person who was so important to us just a few short days ago. Given time, we develop new activities, discover new diversions, meet new people and start to move on with our lives. Slowly, our former lover plays less and less with our emotions and he or she slowly begins to fade into the far recesses of our mind. That is where the true opposite of love begins to grow and the seeds of our new life take root.
After time, while memories of our time together still remain in the deepest depths of our brain, that former interest remarkably begins to disappear. While certain places, events, songs or people still remind us of what once was, new events and memories silently evolve to take their place and that former lover falls deeper and deeper into the recesses and crevices of our mind. And that evolution is both healthy and natural. We have begun the marvelous process of recovery.
What was once called “love” is gone, never to return. It has been replaced by a complete lack of emotion, which can now be accurately labeled as “indifference.” The former lover, once so central to our life, is now nothing more than a distant memory, a faded curtain of our life, a picture lost in the attics of our mind; an individual our children and grandchildren will one day ask about, and we will recall with great difficulty.
After time, after all of the emotions have been spent and all the tears have been shed, the word “hate” will most likely not be the word you will use to describe that person to your children and friends, nephews or nieces. You will gaze at that picture with “indifference” and describe him or her as someone you spent a part of your life with, but then, you “moved on.” You will also say that you were very happy with the new direction your life has taken. In fact, with a high degree of certainty, the child you are speaking with, would not be present if you had not left that former lover and forever changed the direction of your life.
It is then that “indifference” will most likely be spoken to describe your emotions toward that former partner. There will be no emotions left for him or her, no more tears, no more hatred, just a large and empty hole where that person now resides….as well they should. No, the opposite of love is not “hate.” It is clearly “indifference” and indifference is, in the end, the very best kind of revenge.