There is a story that is often told about the Scorpion and the Frog. It seems that there had been a large storm and the creek that ran through their little part of the forest had become swollen with the rain that had been falling almost non-stop for over a week. Safety could be had on higher ground and many of the creatures in the forest were making their way to security and drier ground farther up on the hill.
The Scorpion, however, was not so fortunate since he was a dweller of the forest floor and always had difficulty traveling both up and across the creek. Today, he was pausing right at the side of the now rapidly flowing creek when he spotted a large Bullfrog, just preparing to swim across the ever-enlarging creek, that was now attempting to become a full-fledged river. The Scorpion looked at the creek and then at the Frog and, in his best pleading tone, asked the Frog if he could hitch a ride on his back when the Frog crossed the raging current.
The Frog looked over to where the Scorpion stood, ready to make good on any response that the Frog would offer. The Frog answered, with a quizzical look on his face and croaked in his best deep voice, “Why should I offer you a ride? You will surely sting me when we are in the middle of the creek?” The Scorpion responded, “Why would I do that, if I did, we would both surely die!” The Frog, still unconvinced, but beginning to feel a tad guilty, since remaining on this side of the river would surely cause the Scorpion to die from the flood that was now inevitable, responded, “What guarantee could you give me that you would not sting me?”
The Scorpion, drawing on his very best logic, replied, “I have a wife and family on the other side who surely need me and I must get to them. I miss them and they miss me. Please, Mr. Frog, I will not sting you, I need you in order to get to my family so that we can all be together once again.” The Frog, while still very skeptical, looked at the Scorpion, who now was assuming a begging pose.” “All right,” responded the Frog, crawl on my back and we will both make it safely to the other side.” “Thank you, Mr. Frog, replied the Scorpion, you will not regret it.”
The Scorpion carefully crawled onto the back of the Frog and the Frog, with the weight of the Scorpion pressing both of them deeper into the water, began his laborious swim across the raging waters. About halfway across the creek, the Scorpion rose up and promptly stung the Frog squarely in the middle of his back. “Ouch, Mr. Scorpion, cried the Frog, what have you done? The pain is awful and now, we will both surely die a horrible death by drowning. Why did you do that?” The Scorpion looked down at the Frog and simply stated, “I am a Scorpion, it is in my nature.” Within a minute, the Frog lost all his strength and both the Scorpion and his all-too- trusting companion sank to the bottom of the creek and were carried to their deaths.
You might be wondering, what is the morale of this sad story? Well, at first, you might think that it is to never trust a stranger who appeals to your emotions. Or, you may think that it reminds you to never help a stranger of pick up a hitchhiker by the side of the road. Further analysis, however, reveals an important point to ponder and one I have personally witnessed many times during the course of my career.
I am a teacher and trainer by profession, so this is very difficult to admit, but over the course of my over 35 years of experience teaching and training other people, I have found that people, like Scorpions, really do not change all that much. Sure, we can learn new things and become better educated and more skilled at what we do. However, over time, we are still the very same people we were before we went to that class or seminar. If you have ever tried to lose weight or improve your golf score,you know what I mean. You try the new fad diet, or take that course from your golf pro and initially you see some success. The pounds start to come off and you find your golf score inching toward the 70’s, but, after a few months, you see no movement on the scale and your tee shots start finding the rough again. You try harder, eat less, practice more, but still,the results remain the same. It is just in your nature to be fat, you will always fight to break 100 and nothing ever really changes. So how do you break this vicious cycle?
What I have discovered is that if you really want to change your nature or how you look or play, you first have to really want to change. The saddest trainees I see are the ones I have grown to call “The sentees.” These are the people who were “sent” to training by someone else. Their boss told them to go, their spouse said they had to lose weight. Their partner told them they needed golf lessons.” The list can go on and on, but the result will always be very predictable. They will not make any significant improvement and after a while, they will return to their old habits and say,”It is in my nature to……” well, you can fill in the blanks.
If you want to change your nature, you must first change your motivation. You must have a reason to change or a purpose and goal that drives you to achieve. It must be something you really want to do,not something that someone else is forcing on you. And then, you must stick to it, for a really long time, ignoring the initial results that seem to tell you you are failing. Fight through those moments of despair, really fight, and then one fine day you will start to see real and lasting progress. Remember, though, that a large number of people, in fact, almost everyone from my experience, give up when success is not immediate and sadly, when success is right around the corner.
The very best things in life take a whole lot of time to achieve and there are no shortcuts or easy ways to what you want. You can change,it is just very rare that you really will. While that is a tough fact to totally internalize, once you do,you will discover that you can and will accomplish whatever you set yourself to do. The first, and the most difficult step is to first have a burning desire to accomplish your goal. And then, every day, for the rest of your life, fight your natural, human nature to quit. It truly is all up to you. The Scorpion never understood this and paid the ultimate price. You really, really have to want to change. Once you understand that, and truly believe it, you can become everything you want to be. In fact, you will notice,that there are very few competitors. They have all given up.